Mejor que peor, en un mundo donde yo podría definir la realidad como "el total de todas las cosas irreales", sigo canatando una tonada, que cambia con el tiempo y que a la final nunca va a ser la misma.
Las Cuarenta
Con el pucho de la vida
apretado entre los labios,
la mirada turbia y fria,
un poco lento al andar,
Doblo la esquina del barrio
curda ya de recuerdos,
como volcando un veneno,
esto se le oyo acusar:
Vieja calle de mi barrio
donde he dado el primer paso,
vuelvo a vos, gastado el mazo
en inutil barajar.
Con una llaga en el pecho,
con mi sueño hecho pedazos,
que se rompio en un abrazo
que me diera la verdad.
Aprendí todo lo bueno,
aprendí todo lo malo,
se del beso que se compra,
se del beso que se da.
Del amigo que es amigo,
siempre y cuando le convenga,
y se que con mucha plata
uno vale mucho mas.
Aprendí que en esta vida
hay que llorar si otros lloran
y si la murga se rie
Ja! uno se debe reir;
no pensar ni equivocado,
para que, si igual se vive...
Y, ademas, corres el riesgo
que te bauticen gil.
La vez que quise ser bueno
en la cara se me rieron,
cuando grite una injusticia
la fuerza me hizo callar.
La experiencia fue mi amante,
el desengaño mi amigo...
Toda carta tiene contra
y toda contra se da.
Hoy no creo ni en mi mismo,
todo es grupo, todo es falso,
y aquel, el que esta más alto
es igual a los demas...
Por eso no ha de extrañarte
si alguna noche borracho,
me vieras pasar del brazo
con quien no debo pasar
Aprendí...
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Funny how sometimes the Polarity of things comes in one shot. Both for the reasons to inforce or for the reasons to work on.
"Alice" haha... right...."
"Truth is I violated my core values from the very begining. No wonder I'm looking like "Below the Average Man....."
"Try and learn....."
ideaGasms(R) Newsletters - Welcome To The Front Lines Of Dating,
S E X, And Relationship Consciousness.
"Awaken The Wussy Within"
Dearest Readers,
I am glad to see that so many of you watched, and definitely
enjoyed, "The Secret".
In case you missed out, here is the link again -
http://www.thesecretstory.com/Watch_The_Secret_Movie_Free.html
Now, I'd like to take the time to poke fun at one of my old
"heroes" Anthony Robbins.
Don't get me wrong - I started listening to his tapes and reading
his books when I was 15 years old, and it definitely made a
huge difference in my life.
HOWEVER...
It screwed up my RELATIONSHIPS.
You see, I was the guy in high school who had all the girls.
I was very, very spoiled from a young age.
Even though I didn't exactly have "GTP Consciousness" or anything
like that, I was definitely a "Natural". I instinctively understood
attraction, and even though I was quite shy, girls seemed to
flock to me.
>GTP Consciousness or "Relationship Mastery" -
http://www.ideagasms.com/content.jsp?c=TheGTP
Now, I could GET girls, but I certainly didn't know what to
do with them...
So eventually when I read "Awaken The Giant Within" by Tony
Robbins, I was very happy to find some good, sound relationship
advice when I turned to page 451, "Relationship Destiny".
I thought it would really help me.
Well guess what?
It screwed me up for YEARS!
The main thing that screwed me up was, and I quote:
"If you want your relationship to last, never, never, never,
ever, ever threaten the relationship itself. In other words,
don't ever say 'If you do that, then I'm leaving'."
Dear friends, I'm here to tell you that it is the exact polar
OPPOSITE. If you do not set clear boundaries and enforce them,
you are doomed.
Women are going to test you, OH MY GOD will they ever test you.
THE MOMENT a woman violates one of your core values, if you
don't do something to put a stop to it and let her know that
it is unacceptable...
I suppose that if you were a 6 foot 6 giant leader who also
happens to be a billionaire who travels the world helping millions
of people to empower their lives and so on, your girlfriend
will probably have so much respect for you that she'll never
"test" you.
She will think, "I better be nice to this one."
Let's face it, Tony is a pretty high status guy. I doubt if
he needs to do very much to keep his women happy and chasing
him.
At the time, I blindly followed his BAD advice. It sounded logical,
and after all, I looked up to him and trusted him immensely.
I started giving more and more of my power away, and losing
my girlfriends faster than ever.
If my girlfriend said she would call but didn't, I would "discuss
it" with her. If she acted like a bitch, I would "talk" about
our "feelings" while our relationship just circled down the
drain.
The bottom line is that I wasn't setting clear boundaries. I
was just discussing things with girls and arguing with them
on logical levels, which almost never works.
THANK GOD I eventually realized what was going on and fixed
it. I wouldn't be where I am today, and my relationships would
all suck...
I now hold the frame, "It's My Way (Love, Honesty, Loyalty,
Respect, etc.) OR THE HIGHWAY."
Don't get me wrong - I have a lot of respect for Tony and I
still believe that he does a lot of good in this world, but
on that one MAJOR point of his, he is wrong, wrong, wrong.
>Please note that my advice to actively threaten the end of
the relationship in a congruent "shape up, or ship out!" fashion
doesn't only apply to men, it applies to all self-respecting
human beings who want to enjoy incredibly satisfying, heartfelt
relationships.
Consider this email -
***QUESTION FROM A WOMAN***
Hi Stephane,
I'm just wondering if you could share your take on something
that is starting to be a concern of mine in my relationship
with my partner.
When we talk together about topics and issues to do with ourselves
and each other, he doesn't look at me. He will often sit facing
somewhere else and will often even look directly the opposite
way when I am speaking to him. I've tried to treat this gently
and ask him whether he would look at me so I know that we are
connecting with each other. We are talking with each other so
I feel that it's not that he doesn't want to be there and share,
but it still makes me feel a bit uncomfortable that he won't
look at me and share directly with me.
He says that he feels "self-concious". My question is, what
is your take on this? I feel like he doesn't trust me enough
to share directly with me. I want to be able to develop a really
strong and safe space in which he will share with me without
feeling this way. Is there something you can suggest to help
me understand what he is going through and how I can help him
move through this so that we can keep growing together?
Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.
Many Thanks,
Alice
>>>MY COMMENTS:
What kind of a man cannot even look his woman in the eye while
talking to her?
I suppose he might have been wounded in the past, and is afraid
to open up again. Or perhaps he's ashamed of himself.
Or... Maybe he has something to hide.
Who knows.
Either way, you have to ask yourself if you can continue to
live this way. He is violating one of your core values.
If he was "wounded" then he needs to ask himself why he chose
that experience. He needs to be a man and take responsibility
for the part he played in getting wounded, learn the lessons,
and get over his fear of intimacy.
If he cannot do that, then he simply isn't strong enough. He's
not relationship material.
On the other hand, his refusal to look you in the eye might
also be a huge warning sign that he cheated on you or betrayed
your trust in some way.
Now, he says that he feels "self-conscious", but what exactly
does he MEAN by that? WHAT is the fear?
I personally can't stand it when someone I am in a relationship
with won't open up to me. It doesn't exactly inspire trust,
you know?
If a girl I was dating refused to look me in the eye while talking
to me, I would want to know the reason.
If she cannot tell me the reason, then she cannot be in a relationship
with me. She should go find someone who hates eye contact or
something. I need a strong woman who can open her Heart, and
nothing less than that will do.
I have said to girls, "Let me get this straight. You feel comfortable
enough to spread your legs and take me inside you, but you're
afraid to TELL me something? Um-hmmm."
Alice, you seem like one of the most compassionate, sweet, gentle
and nurturing women ever to grace my inbox.
And your boyfriend is afraid to LOOK at you?
Is this acceptable to you or not?
Giving ULTIMATUMS is a necessity in today's dating world. Otherwise
people will eat you alive. It really is a jungle out there,
and people treat you the way that you train them to treat you.
Anything less than Spiritual Warrior energies and you will simply
fail in today's dating world. You simply MUST hold your loved
ones to a higher standard - relationships are about personal
growth.
Your relationships will never reach their fullest potential
unless you start setting clear boundaries and offering very
real ultimatums to let people know you mean buisness. If they
cannot understand simple things like Love, Honesty, Respect,
Open Communication, and so on, then they are NOT ready to be
in a relationship.
Most people do not set clear boundaries and offer real ultimatums
because they are afraid of losing the person. They don't want
to scare their partner away.
But in my experience, setting boundaries and holding your ground
usually draws them in closer!
Sure, she might leave and go off somewhere to feel sorry for
herself... For a WHILE.
But then they usually come right back and apologize because
they know you are RIGHT. The truth always wins (unless her self-esteem
is too low to handle the truth).
You see, I am always right.
I tell my girlfriends all the time, "Steph knows best."
Sounds like a pretty strong statement, doesn't it?
I'm always right simply because I am a Spiritual Warrior. The
only things I ever insist on and absolutely ENFORCE in my relationships
are LOVE-BASED - Honesty, Loyalty, Respect, Appreciation, Compassion,
Dignity, Growth, Purpose, Integrity, and so on.
My core values are not an option. My girlfriends don't get to
"vote" about these things.
So... I'm always right, AND they always seem to come back for
more once they've cooled off AND their attraction goes through
the roof when they can see that I'm strong enough to hold my
ground.
Fear Of Loss doesn't run my life anymore, LOVE is my priority.
>Just make sure that when you threaten to end the relationship
that you actually mean it. This isn't a fear-based manipulation
tool, it is about being true to your core values.
Boy am I glad I finally learned this stuff...
Namaste.
Be well,
Stephane
PS - Master The Female Orgasm -
http://www.ideagasms.com/content.jsp?c=squirting_orgasms
PPS - There are 16 Inner Game frames that are an absolute MUST
if you'd like to call yourself a Spiritual Warrior -
http://www.ideagasms.com/content.jsp?c=chakras
PPPS - What The Well-Intentioned Tony Robbins Never Taught You
About Women and Relationships -
http://www.ideagasms.com/content.jsp?c=TheGTP
PPPPPS - If you like these simple newsletters, you should see
the stuff that I post on my forum... It will challenge you to
the core. Forward any ideaGasms(R) reciept to Jack@ideaGasms.net
to join us there.
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
--Jack Nicholson
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Stay With Her Intensity
To a Point
"When a woman gets emotionally intense, a mediocre man wants to calm her down and discuss it, or leave and come back later when she is "sane."A superior man penetrates her mood with imperturbable love and unwavering consciousness. If she still refuses to live more fully in love, after a time, he lets her go...."
If you are like most men, you probably aren't too fond of feminine bad moods and hysterical emotions. You may find yourself wondering, why is she so complicated? What's her problem? You may find yourself saying, "Just calm down and take it easy." The feminine bad mood is so foreign and dark to you that you may actually find it somewhat repulsive. And when your woman really goes wild, a part of you is afraid of the damage she might do. Her emotions are so much more wild and less predictable than yours that you'd rather not be around them.
Basically, most men are afraid of, or disgusted by, feminine emotions. That's why you try to fix them or escape from them.
"I'll come back later when you can act like a reasonable human being," you might say.
One of the deepest feminine pleasures is when a man stands full, present, and unreactive in the midst of his woman's emotional storms. When he stays present with her, and loves her through the layers of wildness and closure, then she feels his trust ability, and she can relax.
The way you relate to your woman's chaos reflects the way you react to the chaos of the world. If you are the kind of man who needs everything placed neatly in its nice little box, then you will also try to box your woman's emotions. If you are the kind of man who would rather hire other people to take care of the chaos in your attic, or the chaos of your finances, you would probably also rather leave it to someone else to take care of the chaos of your woman.
You can, however, train yourself to master the world—financially, creatively, spiritually—by learning how to be free and loving in the chaos of your woman's emotions. And you do so by standing your ground and loving so strongly that only love prevails. You can't quit when you seem to fail, but rather, you must learn from your failures and return to love. Give your gift. Like wrestling a steer or surfing ocean waves, mastery involves blending with your woman's powerful energy and feeling the rise and fall of the moment, without lapsing in presence for a second.
You're going to get stamped on by the steer, you're going to get swamped by the ocean, and you're going to get hurt by your woman. This is how you learn. You get up, dust yourself off, swim to shore, and turn and face your woman again. The only options are fear or mastery. You can quit, you can choose small steer and tiny waves, you can wait for your woman to calm down, or you can even threaten her. Or, you can take the moment as a challenge to your ability to conquer the world, and your woman, with love.
Keep your breath full. Keep your body strong. Keep your attention present. No matter what your woman says or does, give her love. Press your belly into her. Smile. Scream and then lick her face. Do whatever it takes to crack the shell of her closure, get your love inside that crack, and touch her heart. Learn to enjoy her anger, her tears, her silent hardness. The world will give you the same at times.
The game of life is to find each situation workable, to transform each occasion through the magnification of love, to give your fullest gift in every moment, and to have no attachments to the outcome, knowing it's all going to rise and fall and rise again. You have mastered women and the world when no desire either to avoid or attain sways your loving or limits your freedom....
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